My Account
Mother, wife and office manager extraordinaire, but mostly a lover of the quiet family life, Jan Yaxley of Snells Beach has found herself thrown into intense family grief and then onto the international stage as a guest speaker, as she and her larger-than-life entrepreneurial husband follow a vision to impact the community, both here and overseas, for good – and she has found she loves it!
I had a wonderful childhood living in Mt Roskill, which was in those days a beautiful suburb of Auckland. I was the youngest of three sisters and surrounded by a close family. My fondest memories were playing tennis and cowboys and Indians in the street with about 20 other kids, and crossing the stream. I also remember sitting on the back steps of our house with my dad playing the banjo. We girls, and our mates, gathered and sang along. Coming home from school was a joy on a cold night because mum and nana would have fresh home baking for us. I had a very blessed childhood.
I enjoyed school and went on, in my college years, to study secretarial subjects. I must have done well at school because I skipped a class and at 15 and a half, I left school. My first job was sole charge in an office for a structural engineer. It was ridiculous. I did all the office duties – I think I was mature for my age and certainly people took on responsibility a lot younger in those days. I worked there for two years and then took a position at an insurance company as a receptionist.
I met Trevor when I was 16 years old in a dance hall. He was 18 and had come to New Zealand only two years before from England. It was love at first sight and we knew we were meant for each other. I was very young and my parents set strict rules. We were told what time to be home by, and we were. We courted for two and a half years and then got married with my parents’ blessing. Trevor was doing well for himself – he was self-employed by then. We were able to put a third of the cost of our first home down as a deposit, and we moved in. We were so compatible, even down to our faith. We shared a common desire to see a solid family unit established.
Our first son Mark was born a year after we got married, and it was a shock to find out he had moderate Downs Syndrome. I was only 19 and a half and we had had no warning anything was wrong. However, after the initial shock, we decided to treat him just like any other little boy. We soon found the joys of his vibrant personality far outweighed the sorrows of his limited abilities. We had the support of friends and family, and we were determined to make the best of it.
Our second son, David, was born three years later, followed another three years later by our daughter Rebecca. By then we had definitely ‘put our order in’ for a girl! As a family we always got involved in whatever business Trevor was getting into. I wasn’t a working mum, but I was always working alongside Trevor in some way, doing the accounts or secretarial tasks, painting or whatever was needed. We were also very involved in church work through out the 20 years we lived in Auckland.
We always believed the family should be the centre of all our activities and home was a fun place to be. Mark provided a lot of the fun. He was an escape artist and one day I looked out the window to see him disappearing around the corner, hanging onto the back of a rubbish truck. He was only five years old.
We had been very successful in business so we decided to move north to Snells Beach. At that stage we decided to do speaking tours and training seminars on constructive ways to reach local communities.
It was at the end of our first speaking tour that David was killed in a traffic accident in the Dome Valley. It seemed the whole of Warkworth stopped when the two hearses came through the town (another young person also died in the accident and Rebecca was very seriously injured). It was the rawest pain we have ever experienced. Well-known documentary maker Rob Harley goes into the story of our loss in his Extreme Close Up television series. Our response to this was to reduce our involvement in the business world and to throw ourselves headlong into community work. We thought we’d never recover from such a tragedy, but after two years of going through the motions, we ‘turned the corner’. I still think of David every day – how can a mother or father forget their child? – but hope does return, and time makes the loss sting less.
We were encouraged by an African American to start a school like Youth with a Mission, which would reach out to young people, encouraging them and training them to make a difference in their world. I felt there was nothing more to fear (after what we had been through) and it was time to give life a go. Our desire was to leave a legacy of hope behind us for the next generation. Lifeway College was set up in 1988, two years after David’s death.
With the tertiary training school established in Snells Beach, we started to travel internationally. I found myself speaking almost as often as Trevor. I used to dream of standing up and speaking to a large audience and it now it was actually happening. I learned that I needed a ‘good pair or running shoes’ to keep up with Trevor as he moved from one initiative to the next. I have ended up with so many hats I just put them on and do whatever needs doing.
We are both well-known international speakers now. I love speaking and motivating – I think I was born for this. It got to the point where I was booked a year in advance, but now I feel I need more flexibility so only accept offers three months in advance. Rebecca married David Price in 1993 and they have three lovely daughters. They are a joy to me and have filled the gap David left. I think we are moving into the next phase in our lives where we will hand over the baton and cheer on the next generation to live life to the full. As I have got older I have learned to look after myself, to cope with the international travel. I eat well and have power naps. I am enjoying being a wife, a mother and a nana. I love home making. (When I had time I used to love baking and I believe there is a resurgence in home baking.)
My story is not just about grief and loss – it’s about family, courage and perseverance.
The DVD recounting the Yaxleys’ full story (aired on TV One in the programme Extreme Close Up) can be purchased from Craig Henderson, phone 425 6360.
