My Account
The only tears Jo Lawn has shed during her more than 100 triathlons were at the finish line of her final race in Auckland two years ago. At 40, and with 45 Ironman triathlons and a record seven Taupo Ironman titles to her name, Jo finally pulled the pin. Ironman triathlon is one of the most physically and mentally gruelling sports. A 3.8km swim and 180km cycle race, followed by a 42.2km run. Throughout this time Jo was also privately tackling her toughest fight, a battle with eating disorders and anorexia. From her home at Omaha Beach where she now lives with her husband Armando Galarraga and their daughter Penelope, Jo told Mahurangi Matters reporter Rod Cheeseman how becoming an Ironman champion literally saved her life …
People ask me what’s your best strength in the Ironman? Is it the swim, bike, or run? I say, actually I am not particularly good at any of them. My strength is my brain. That’s what I want people to understand, you may not be good at anything, but if you’re mentally strong you can be the best in the world. My Dad was a workaholic. He’s 75 and would still work eight days a week if he could. My Mum was sporty and was a competitive squash player, my sister Sarah was a good swimmer. They tried to get me swimming but I didn’t like it. Swimming is boring. I don’t like water and I don’t like swimming. They reckoned if they could’ve combined us, Sarah’s patience and my determination, we would have made a really good swimmer!
At school I did every sport possible, netball, basketball, volleyball and cricket – I even had a go at fencing. Everything that is, except cycling. In my last year at school I won a tennis scholarship to go to America. I ended up in Waco, Texas at the same time the David Koresh Branch Davidians were shooting it out with the US authorities – 76 people were killed. I was pretty much straight out of home and I don’t think I was ready for it. After arriving mid-semester all the tennis girls had formed groups and were housed together so I had to go with the basketballers. I was always a normal girl – about 58 kilos – but I was so unhappy I ate for comfort. Not during normal hours but at night when I was lonely. I ended up with an eating disorder over there – I ballooned up to 72kgs and I came home and Mum said, ‘Oh your eating habits aren’t that good.’ She offered to help and had all my meals sent once a week in a chilly-bin. It wasn’t a diet but an eating plan, because when you go off the rails you don’t know what is the right quantity. Anyway I took it to extremes, which is obviously in my blood, and I plummeted down to 48 kilos in three months. The problem was I couldn’t see how wrong it was. I just couldn’t see it, and that’s the problem with a lot of anorexics. I was doing secret exercise every chance I got, in the wardrobe, in the bathroom, in the shower – it’s actually really scary.
I went back to the States weighing about 60 kilos after summer break and kept exercising. I was crying all the time and the school got hold of Mum. I told her, ‘I don’t want to be here anymore’. Mum and Dad have always supported me no matter what. They said tennis is obviously not for you right now and Dad gave me a job working for his company, Real Foods. It was part time, so I was exercising as much as I could, twice a day for sure. I would get home, and exercise again because I felt guilty for having an apple for lunch! I would think to myself, why am I not strong enough not to eat? The thing with anorexia is you have to admit you have a problem.
I met Olympic coach Mark Sutherland who had worked with Ian Ferguson and the like. He started to coach me because my dream was to do sports but I didn’t know what sport. He got my exercise controlled and he put me on to a dietician. I was with a really good group of people that I trusted and I couldn’t lie to them. That is what anorexics do, they lie, but I just couldn’t lie because I would be cheating those people. I entered a duathlon in 1994 because I didn’t like swimming and I wouldn’t be seen in a swimsuit. I liked the bike part so Mark said, ‘why don’t you just do road cycling?’
I did and I got approached by Cycling New Zealand and represented New Zealand in 1995, 96, 97 and at the Commonwealth Games in Malaysia in 1998.
I wasn’t the sprinter in the cycling team so I’m working my butt off for someone else to win! I thought then that I needed to do something for myself. My coach was John Ackland who has now done a lot of work with Team New Zealand. I told him I’d always wanted to do an Ironman. Imagine that, exercising all day, that would be awesome! I went to Kona, Hawaii in 1999 for my first event, a half Ironman. I was last out of the water – obviously! Then first off the bike, and then just into the run, I’m thinking, ‘what the heck is this? It’s 500 degrees, I’m dying here and I have to run’, but I managed to win! They offered me a spot to come back and compete in the world championships. I said, ‘no thanks you must be crazy. I’m not doing two of these!’ I didn’t really know how important it was when I turned it down.
I did my first full Ironman in Taupo in 2000. I won my age group and was fourth or fifth overall. That meant I had qualified for the worlds in Kona. I raced and became world champion in my age group, 20-24. After that I turned professional. It saved me I guess. Ironman saved me. I wasn’t going to have the excuse that I ran out of energy. You put the training in, you put the fuel in, and you are going to finish. I don’t ever want to have an excuse for failure, least of all some stupid food thing.
For 14 consecutive years I did Taupo and Kona, with other Ironman events in between. I’ve never had an unfinished race and I’m probably the only triathlete to do that. I didn’t think I was good, I just loved what I was doing. I wasn’t doing it to win. I have an eating disorder, a fear of the water, and here I am being a triathlete! Winning was the cherry on the top. The problem is that during competition, you dig so deep you’re in a hole. Racing in Taupo and Kona is like continually picking a scab that never heals. I was going to retire in 2012 but then I thought, ‘one more’. It would be nice to get eight wins in Taupo and a top three finish in Kona. Before I knew it I had done another two years and finally I was scared to pick that scab anymore because it was down to the bone.
Ultimately I wanted to have a family. In my opinion you can’t get pregnant and be a professional triathlete. You have to make your mind up and go for it. So I retired and put my focus on getting pregnant. I finished in January 2014 and was pregnant in February. I felt very lucky, but having a baby was a huge shock. My whole life I have only ever been a selfish athlete. I have never had a boss and now all of a sudden I have a boss who’s two days old! I couldn’t even go to the toilet when I needed to. I think a mother’s bond makes us feel fully responsible. Being a mum is definitely harder than doing an Ironman. I could do an Ironman now without all the training – I could just head out the door! But babies, now that’s hard. It’s all on their time.
I guess the most important thing I have learned through my life is this: Not always does the best athlete win. Not always will the smartest kid in school get the best job. Life is like an Ironman – we are all hurting, and we are all in pain. The question is: do you want it or not? Mental strength is everything, and having red hair helps too!
