Homebuilders – Unravelling the teenage brain

Homebuilders had the pleasure of hosting a presentation day in partnership with Brainwave Trust at the end of March. The day was a roaring success, and we welcomed over 40 individuals and families into our space on the day. The feedback has been positive, with one person saying she wished it could have been longer.

The second half of the day was devoted to “Unravelling the Teenage Brain”. In essence, it looked at the adolescent and how this period in their life (from puberty to the mid 20s) unfolds and plays out for them while relating it to their current brain development. The information shared was steeped in research. The hope was to provide parents and caregivers the tools to work out and support their teen through what can (but not always) be a challenging time.

We learned that not only is infancy a time of significant brain development, but adolescence is also a growth period. According to Brainwave Trust, adolescents need ongoing support and guidance from adults; however, adults frequently withdraw their monitoring of adolescents too early, leaving them to cope with situations alone or with their peers. This can leave them in a vulnerable position, because adolescents are susceptible to risk-taking behaviours, influenced by the developing brains innate drive for sensation-seeking.

Another area discussed was emotions. Changes in the brain that process emotions cause adolescents to feel more intensely than children and adults – leading to a teen who is easily triggered, quick to react and are more sensitive to the emotions of others. All of this can be confusing to both the teen and the caregiver. Wires can easily get crossed.

So now that we know all of this, what do we do? Nigel Latta has been talking about the teen/adult relationship for years now and how we might navigate the minefield that is adolescence.  Latta’s overriding message through the years has been around communication and connection. As adults, we need to stop what we are doing, look at our teens, pay attention in the moment and validate them by focusing on what they have to say. This, in turn, feeds into his second piece of advice: build a relationship (not a friendship), just hang out, find something they are in to and get into it too – whatever it is, just find common ground.

Thirdly, he says, do not get drawn into arguments. Say what you have to say but keep it brief. Lastly, have rules (all adolescents need boundaries), but keep them simple and non-punitive, and be consistent when those rules are broken.

Overall, the message is to stay aware that your adolescent is going through many changes both via puberty and brain development, so stay connected, stay consistent, stay strong and remember, this too shall pass.

Liz Griffiths, Family support worker
www.homebuildersfs.org