Business – Stop mind reading. Lead anyway.

Lately in chats with business owners and managers around the Coast I’ve noticed how much leadership energy gets burned trying to guess what other people are thinking. We over prepare for what they might say, script what a client might object to, and imagine how a team member will react if we change something. Then we treat those guesses like facts. No wonder decisions crawl.

Here is the liberating shift that has been landing for me. Most people are not thinking about you. They are thinking about themselves, their inbox, their numbers, the school pick up, the dishwasher that broke last night. A close friend recently had to give a sales presentation and started to tie themselves in knots about every possible reaction in the room. On the day the audience was fine, but mostly they were checking calendars, whispering about timeframes, and worrying about their own targets. The same thing happens when you are facilitating, running a team meeting, or having a one-on-one. You imagine every eye is on you; they are mostly inside their own heads.

Once you see that, leading gets lighter. You stop trying to mind-read and you start asking. You stop waiting for a perfect time and you choose a time. You turn a vague plan into a clear ask. You worry less about being judged and more about being useful. In practice that looks like sending the agenda for a tricky meeting a day early so people arrive thinking about the right things. It looks like writing a one pager and asking for a decision by Friday. It looks like opening the team meeting with “Here is what I need from us today” and finishing with “Who is doing what, by when.”

Another habit that helps is shortening the feedback loop. If you keep guessing what people think, you will keep delaying. If you ask quickly, you can adjust quickly. I like low friction check ins. A draft email for a client with three tight options. A 10 minute stand up with two decisions. A yes or no on a small pilot. The response is almost always less dramatic than I imagined and the work moves forward.

There is room for a simple mantra. They are busy thinking about themselves. That is not a criticism. It is permission. My most productive days start when I have a quiet “stuff it” moment and send the invite, make the call, or ask for the order. Action creates the clarity we were trying to think our way into.

That is the job. Less mind reading. More clarity, more asking, more useful action.