Homebuilders – Freedom from fear

Both adults and children experience periods of fear or anxiety, and become stressed from time to time. It is quite normal for children to react to being overwhelmed, and about 11 per cent of children have problems coping with anxiety, compared to just 3 per cent who are affected by depression. Anxiety problems, according to Dr. Carolyn Schniering, senior lecturer at Macquarie University in Australia, are the most common emotional disorders experienced by children. It is normal for children to experience mild fears and these should not be mistaken for anxiety. “As a rule of thumb, parents should be more concerned if the fears or worries become excessive and their child is unable to deal with everyday life” Dr Schniering says.

Anxiety itself is not something to be scared of. It’s a normal emotion and an important part of how we engage with our world. If your child is affected by stress or anxiety, it’s important to treat them with sensitivity, and ‘listen and translate’ their words around worry, confusion, annoyance or anger. Sometimes, your normally sweet child will behave aggressively, and may start acting out or behave differently with others if facing a source of stress. Most children don’t like to be aggressive, and it’s often the feeling of being overwhelmed that drives the behaviour. Remain calm to reduce the chances of the cycle continuing. If you do lose your cool, ask for forgiveness and admit any wrongs.

The main thing is to increase understandings and take note of any increase in physical symptoms of stress or anxiety in your child. Signs of stress can include headaches, chest pain, tummy aches, fatigue and  bedwetting – especially if it is sudden and the child doesn’t have a history of bedwetting.

Sometimes stress raises certain hormone levels that make kids too alert with overexcitement or vigilance to enjoy a peaceful nights’ sleep. It could be due to stress at school or daycare. Alternatively, you and your partner may have been arguing and disrupting a peaceful home life. In these cases, hug heaps and note how stress during waking hours can disrupt a child who normally sleeps soundly.

Sometimes sensitive, withdrawn or shy kids may tend to avoid participation in activities because of fear and sometimes sometimes adults need to demonstrate ways they’ve overcome their worries.

Ways adults can help children include:
•    Allowing children time and space to work out how they can cope better.
•    Encouraging children to face their fears, but do it gradually.
•    Remaining empathetic, and providing appropriate reactions. For example, by reducing the attention given to a child’s fears, but instead emphasising and praising  brave behaviours.
•    Allowing your child to do things for themselves. Don’t try to fix everything for them, let them make mistakes.
•    Do not go out of your way to reduce your child’s anxiety by allowing them to avoid facing the source of that anxiety. Every time an adult allows a child to avoid what they fear, it reinforces to the child that they are unable to be powerful against the feared thing and cannot deal with it themselves.

Madhurii Ball
www.homebuildersfs.org