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The Grief Centre in Birkenhead www.griefcentre.org.nz
Grief is the normal, healthy response to any kind of difficult change or loss, but it can feel far from normal sometimes.
Many hard life situations can cause grief such as the serious illness, injury or the death of someone loved or the loss of a treasured pet. A relationship break down, changes in health or wellbeing, changes in your way of life such as moving house, changing jobs, job loss, financial difficulties or adjusting to retirement can all trigger feelings of loss and bereavement.
Grief is a process that helps us to gradually adjust our lives to life after our difficult change or loss. It doesn’t have any set pattern, rules or timetable – and it can’t be rushed.
There is also no one ‘right’ way to grieve. We’re all different so we grieve differently. It’s a personal, individual experience, and as unique to you as your fingerprint is.
Try to be patient with yourself. Life can become more hopeful, positive and active again, but the grief won’t suddenly disappear. Instead, it will ease up and stay a natural part of you, because what happened really mattered. The good news is it becomes much more manageable.
In the interim, be kind to yourself. Try to eat healthy meals and drink water through the day. Do some walks, easy exercise or stretch. Get enough rest and sleep. Avoid using alcohol, drugs or other risky choices to cope with grief, because these can unhelpfully affect your moods, worsen your pain and complicate things even more for you and others around you.
And don’t be afraid to use the support of friends, family and whānau because you don’t have to get through your grief on your own. Remember to plan ahead so you can use support or choose to do things on those days that might make them a little easier to cope with. Anniversaries and birthdays can be particularly difficult to face.
