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Manly couple Heather and Dan Lake have done a lot with their lives so far, but this year saw both embark on a new journey, publishing books on two subjects close to their hearts – one on leadership, the other on being a mum in the digital age.
“I’d always said I’d like to write a book,” Dan says, calling the Covid lockdowns – a time when many people thought they’d try something new – as a “prompt” to begin the project. Leadership was an obvious choice: his Master’s thesis had focused on leading the millennial generation.
Small and square, Dan’s A Good Leadership Book: On Clarity, Culture, & Communication doesn’t resemble the typical fare occupying the business leadership shelves. It’s packed with bite-sized wisdoms on making a meaningful difference in leadership – “like your daily leadership vitamin,” suggests Heather.
Among the more intriguing chapter titles – “How to be a toxic boss” (a disclaimer advises readers not to apply literally). “Under no circumstances should you celebrate success,” it deadpans. “No-one is perfect, and it’s your job to point out how.”
Dan grew up locally, attending Ōrewa College and Mahurangi College, and describes the region’s stunning coastline as “my real sweet spot”.
Following a stint as a bungy jump instructor, work with a faith-based youth NGO took him from the US to Africa and then Asia, where he and Heather met in Taiwan. They married in her native Illinois, before returning to NZ five years ago, with one-year-old and three-year-old daughters in tow.
For Heather, navigating motherhood in an era of clicks and ‘likes’ led her to write Motherhood Unplugged: Confessions of a Wannabe InstaMom.
On the challenges facing parents when it comes to social media, she recalls the pivotal Lord of the Rings moment when Gandalf turns to face the monstrous Balrog and declares “You shall not pass!”
“He was running from this great evil and then realised that he was the one who had the power to stop it.”
Mums today have the power to act as “guardians and gatekeepers” on their children’s tech use – just as they decide what to feed and dress them – yet many don’t feel confident “just saying no”, she says.
“If you put a screen in front of a child, that’s going to be more interesting to them than a plant, or a puppy. But I want them to be interested in a plant or a puppy. There’s so much joy in the world to be had.”
The book offers advice to mums about their own social media use, including perceived pressures to present a “perfect” image online.
“There’s this feeling that, as parents, I have to put my whole life out there. While I’m busy holding my baby I’m taking a photo – look at my baby’s room that I’ve set up!”
Wouldn’t it be great, Dan says, if instead of trying to take “perfect pictures of our kids” every few minutes, we chose instead just to be “present”.
“We live in such a beautiful part of the world. If we’re so plugged into our devices we can miss the beauty we have right in front of us.”
Win these books
Hibiscus Matters has one copy of A Good Leadership Book: On Clarity, Culture, & Communication to give away. A Good Leadership Book is available at Whitcoulls, Nationwide Books, and through amazon.com.au and Motherhood Unplugged at amazon.com.au To go into the draw, ‘like’ Hibiscus Matters on Facebook and message us your name and phone number with A Good Leadership Book in the message. Please note we are unable to take postal entries this time, as our office is closed due to refurbishment. Entries close on September 25.
