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Nothing in life is certain, except death and taxes, but most people are still reluctant to talk, or even think about, one of them.
Death, and all it entails, remains one of the last social taboos but three local women want to change that, with the launch of regular death café sessions in Whangaparāoa.
Kelly Townsend, Marama Winder and Helen Rutledge have organised the first session at Whangaparāoa Library this month.
Kelly and Helen are funeral celebrants, and Marama is an end of life doula.
The death café concept began in 2011 and is international – currently there are around 18,000 worldwide including 183 in New Zealand.
Kelly says the aim is to provide a comfortable space, with tea and cake, where participants can ask questions and share experiences in a fully confidential and respectful group.
“Death has been outsourced to hospitals and funeral directors, but the aim is to normalise it,” Kelly says.
There is no agenda, it’s totally free and not-for-profit, and Helen says each café is different, with people raising aspects such as euthenasia, what happens after death, living funerals (having a funeral while you’re still alive), near death experiences, and what they hope will be their legacy. Some people want facts and practical information. There can even be a little gallows humour.
The emphasis is on discussion, Kelly says, rather than grief support or counselling.
“It’s very educational – and hopefully you become more comfortable talking about death.”
The first death cafe is on Sunday, April 21, from 10.30am to midday. All welcome – just turn up.
It is hoped that the death cafés will be held every two months from then on, at the library.
