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Red Beach author Rose Stanley has a new children’s book out, inspired by the courage she has witnessed in kids who have learned the power of speaking about what is happening in their lives – telling their own stories, their way.
Rose has worked for years in pastoral care and pastoral care training at state schools, especially in a highly-regarded small group programme called Seasons for Growth, which she says helps children to understand what happens when they experience change and loss and grief.
In the course of the work, she was privy to kids sharing what was going on in their lives, and became aware not only that they have a story to tell, but how important it is that they feel able to do so.
Experiences varied widely – from the sadness of a pet dying to facing the reality of an incarcerated parent, uncertainties surrounding separation and custody arrangements, family illness and bereavement, or difficulties making friends at school.
“I loved that the programme allowed the kids to say: This is how it happened for me, this is how I felt.
“It was really brave – not necessarily sharing everything, but even just a little bit of what was going on for them. And you could see them thinking how good it had been to talk – a weight off their shoulders.”
Rose says the idea then developed of writing a book that could help children to understand “that feelings are okay”.
The Story of You, written for 6-12 year olds, aims to help children discover that, whatever they experience in life, they are both the author and the main character of their own, unique story. And, importantly, that “how it turns out is up to you”.
Rose says that in addition to young readers themselves, parents or grandparents could read it with a loved one, and it could also be helpful for counsellors and therapists working with young children.
“I wanted it to be a fun read, to remind children that we all have stories to tell. It might be a small story or a big story, it doesn’t matter, but it’s your voice that should come through.”
Rose also cites as an inspiration the work of journalist and mental health advocate Jehan Casinader, whose book This Is Not How It Ends: How rewriting your story can save your life deals with how the power of storytelling helped him get through a four-year struggle with depression.
She hopes her book will encourage young readers “to know early on that their story has a lot of power in it, both in the way they see it but also in the retelling of it”.
Rose traces back her interest in mental health issues to her own experiences as a teenager, when after her Dad died when she was 13, her Mum was left on her own to parent three teenagers.
“In those days you were told to suck it up and go back and look after your kids. There was huge fallout for us,” she recalls. “So it’s always been in the background for me, and it became more and more important to be part of that conversation.”
Rose, who has lived on the Hibiscus Coast for most of the last 18 years, has written four previous children’s books. She is taking a break from the pastoral care role this year, enjoying spending time with her first grandchild and working on other projects, including a first adult non-fiction book.
WIN the book
Hibiscus Matters has two copies of The Story of You to give away. To go into the draw, ‘like’ Hibiscus Matters on Facebook and message us your name and phone number with The Story of You in the message. Alternatively, write your name, address and a daytime phone number on the back of an envelope and post or drop into The Story of You giveaway, Hibiscus Matters, 21 Florence Avenue, Ōrewa. Entries close on Friday, June 21.
