Jokes brighten up Father’s Day

2020 has been an interesting year, but one thing that has kept us going is Dad’s jokes. Whether they make you cringe, make you groan, drive you up the wall or make you laugh out loud, we can’t get enough of them.

Thank you to everyone who entered the Mahurangi Matters Father’s Day Dad Joke competition. We received a wide range of entries from all ages, including an email from 10-year-old Sophie Milligan on behalf of her dad, Gavin, and a hand-written joke dropped into our office by D. Yarndley.

The winner of the $295 chainsaw from Stihl Shop Warkworth was father of three Kevin Johnson from Warkworth. We also had three runners-up who won vouchers from Warkworth Menswear, The Camera Shop Warkworth and Smiths Matakana.

Thank you to Mike and Roanne from Stihl Shop Warkworth for judging.

Mahurangi Matters thanks the businesses who supported the competition and all the entrants.


Here’s a look at some of the entries …

Winner of the Stihl Shop Warkworth MS 170 chainsaw: Kevin Johnson
Dad: Hey kids, I used to have a racing snail. One day, I thought if I took the shell off it would make it faster. It actually made it more sluggish.

Winner of Warkworth Menswear prize pack: Jan Morris
High above the crowd, Rover was riding a bike on the tightrope balancing spinning plates. All of a sudden he had a thought, ‘this was a new trick, and he was an old dog’.

Winner of Smiths Matakana voucher: Jon Sandler             
Sheepdog: All 30 sheep are ready, farmer
Farmer: But I only count 26
Sheepdog: I know, I rounded them up
Winner of The Camera Shop prize: Yogi Singh
I ordered a chicken and an egg off Amazon … I’ll let you know.


Other entries:
Matthew Shepherd
Q. Why did the fish blush?
A. It saw the ocean’s bottom

Jack Balchin
Q. Do you want to hear the joke about a lawn mower?
A. No, it might run you over

Sophie Milligan, 10, on behalf of dad Gavin Milligan:
Two goldfish are in a tank.
One says to the other, “Do you know how to drive this thing?”

Tay sent this in on behalf of his 5-year-old daughter Esme:
Q. Why can’t Elsa have a balloon?
A. Because she’ll let it go

Audrey Osborne
Q. How do you make a glow worm happy?
A. Cut off its butt, it’ll be delighted

Derryn Wech
Q. Why do cows have hooves
A. Because they lack toes

Peyton Waters
Q. What did the empty milk bottle say to the full milk?
A. I got drunk last night

D. Yarndley
Q. Dad, what does the coming depression mean?
A. It’s about the rubbish dump hole in the Dome Valley.