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What do you do when two cultures are being combined within a marriage – how do you choose which traditions to uphold? For Phuong and James Graham of Matakana, it was simple – they chose to celebrate both, and had two different weddings on the same day in 2015.
Phuong, who runs Viet Q Foods, and James, a winemaker, opted to have a Vietnamese Buddhist ceremony in the morning and early afternoon, followed by a classic Kiwi wedding later on.
Phuong moved to New Zealand with her family when she was just nine, but her parents always made sure that Vietnamese language, food and traditions were kept alive, including wedding customs.
“When we decided to get married, we wanted to incorporate both cultures and all our friends and family were really supportive,” Phuong says.
So supportive, in fact, that all the female guests and many of the males ended up wearing custom-made traditional dress for the Vietnamese part of the day.
“We were getting my dress, James’s outfit, and the groomsmen and bridesmaid’s outfits made in Vietnam,” she says. “We put it out to all the female guests that we could get a dress made for them as well, and everyone took us up on it. We ended up with a huge box of Vietnamese dresses. There were 50 in total.”
Phuong’s dress was a traditional Ao Dai – which means long top, or tunic – in rich red and gold for good luck, with a large red headdress and a sheer white coat embroidered with a phoenix and a dragon. James, male family members and groomsmen wore dark blue silk tunics decorated with a gold medallion pattern, with the size of the medallions depicting the seniority of the wearer.
As is traditional, the day started with the groom’s side gathering for a procession to the bridal home, with family and friends bringing cake, wine and gifts, and James presenting Phuong with her bridal bouquet of cream Whangateau roses. After a ceremony and blessings at the family altar, everyone went back to the groom’s side of the family for more blessings, a meal and reception.
Then, after a quick change into a strapless gown for Phuong and a traditional morning suit for James, it was on to the Auckland Hilton for a Kiwi white wedding on a waterside balcony, followed by dinner.
Phuong says it was a really happy day, and a wonderful way to bring their families and background together.
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