Homebuilders – Bullying is never okay

Take care of our children
Take care of what they hear
Take care of what they see
Take care of what they feel
For how the children grow
So will be the shape of Aotearoa.
Dame Whina Cooper

In 2024, Aotearoa New Zealand was named as having the highest rates of bullying in schools in the OECD. The NZ Council for Educational Research (NZCER) revealed that a tragic 30 per cent of all kiwi kids reported being bullied in some way, at least once a month. Bullying takes many forms so, before we rush to blame social media, here is a breakdown from journalist Mark Dash of DashTickets:

Physical bullying: About 15% of students have been physically bullied. That’s the pushing, shoving and scrapping

Verbal bullying: A whopping 35% have been verbally bullied. That’s name-calling, taunts and nasty comments

Social bullying: Around 25% have been socially bullied. That’s the exclusion and spreading of rumours

Cyberbullying: 22% have copped it online

Bullying is never okay; it is not a normal rite of passage through school, and can have severe and long-lasting detrimental impact to all involved – the bullied kids, their families, friends, observers and those doing the bullying. Schools have policies, but they cannot and should not be expected to deal with this alone. It takes a community of effort and a culture of caring.

Children may be reluctant to talk about being bullied. They may have feelings of shame, embarrassment or, sadly, they may blame themselves. It is never their fault. Parents may notice changes in the child’s behaviour such as wanting to avoid school, a drop in their grades, personal items going missing, an absence of friendships, parties, activities or even changes in eating habits. It is vital that parents talk to their children about their experiences and that the children feel they have confidential support.

It is understandable that children may not want to talk to the school about their experience – for fear of repercussion or a worsening of the bullying. This may leave parents feeling frustrated and powerless.

Homebuilders Family Support can help parents and children overcome being bullied through our parenting courses and our one-on-one counselling services. We can also provide advocacy support with local schools if required.

If you know or suspect that your child is being bullied, or is demonstrating bullying behaviour, please call us, we are here to help. We won’t tell you what to do or how to do it. We will work with you to help you make sense of it, develop strategies and goals of how you would like to deal with it. You decide the level of support you need. We provide a professional, caring, confidential and free community service in the Rodney district.

Contact us via email or phone: 09 425 7048, 0800 1000 37, www.homebuildersfs.org, office@homebuildersfs.org