Homebuilders – Managing natural anxiety

“Our anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, but only empties today of its strengths.”
C.H. Spurgeon

Anxiety is a normal human reaction to the perception of threats to all aspects of our wellbeing. It is usually short-lived and explainable by a specific event or circumstance. Persistent or constant anxiety, over many things, may indicate that there are some underlying issues that would be helpful to address, to avoid the anxiety getting worse over time.

Anxiety may show up at any age – think of children becoming distressed at leaving their parents, going to school or being reluctant to try new things. These feelings of intense discomfort may show up:

Physically – increased heart rate, heavy or rapid breathing, stomach aches, feeling sick, being sick, runny stools and headaches.

Emotionally – feelings of dread, thinking the worst is going to happen, worrying about doing things right and the consequences of not doing them right, asking for things to be done for them and perceiving dangers as far bigger than they are.

Behaviourally – typically avoidance, refusing to do things, clinging, fidgeting, shaking, fearing things, crying over small things.

Understanding ‘the Anxiety Loop’ can be a helpful way to learn how to manage anxiety as and when it is showing up. To break this cycle, gentle introduction to the anxiety or fear is important. There are several ways to do this, and a few ‘tricks’ that work wonders with children. Think of it like a stepladder, taking one step at a time.

Imagine a child is anxious about reading a poem in class. They are refusing to go to school and are asking you to talk to the teacher. You could try:

Negotiating – working out a compromise such as agreeing to talk to the teacher and agreeing that they need to read the poem aloud to the wider family and the teacher alone.

Praise and reward – it’s a beautiful poem, and you sound so good, it would be lovely to share it, how about if you share the poem, we can go and share a cake at a café?

Teach relaxing techniques – deep breaths, thinking positive thoughts like, ‘I can do this’.

Most importantly, the cause of anxiety needs to be talked through, talked about, and named. Trying to depersonalise the issue by saying things like “the anxiety” rather than “your anxiety” is helpful.

Please reach out to us if you need help or support. We are here to help.