Women – Why connection matters

There is a strange thing about loneliness: you don’t necessarily have to be alone to feel it. And you can be alone without feeling lonely. Some of us even crave solitude. Loneliness is not about numbers, but the quality of our connections and how emotionally and socially connected we feel.

We can be surrounded by people at work, school pick-up, in the supermarket or at home with our families and still feel as though we are on the outside looking in. We can have hundreds of contacts on our phones or social media and still have nobody to call on during tough times.

The World Health Organisation recognises loneliness and social isolation as an important public health issue. Its Commission on Social Connection describes connection as a basic human need, closely linked to mental and physical health and wellbeing. While we may associate loneliness with ageing, people of all ages can experience disconnection throughout their lives.

During times of change, sharing experiences with others becomes particularly important. Becoming a parent, moving to a new community, relationship difficulties, caring for someone, losing a job or simply going through a difficult patch can leave us feeling disconnected. Sometimes the hardest part is finding the energy or confidence to reach out. Yet doing so can bring a sense of understanding, support and belonging.

This term at the Women’s Centre Rodney, our theme is Stronger Together. A strong community isn’t necessarily one where everyone knows everyone, but one where there are opportunities to belong. Places where we can turn up as we are, meet people at different life stages, share experiences and discover that what we thought was happening only to us is something others understand.

Our Connected Mothers, Stronger Futures programme grew from this idea. For mothers, particularly during early parenting, finding connection can be challenging. Workplace relationships are replaced by long days at home, while fears and inadequacies about parenting can prevent us connecting with other adults. It can feel like nobody understands the challenges of becoming a parent, alongside the pressure to do it perfectly. Having a laugh with someone or simply feeling heard can make the difference between a good day and a bad one.

Connection isn’t just good for parents; it has proven health benefits for everyone. The possibilities are limited only by our imaginations. It might mean inviting someone for coffee, volunteering, joining a class, trying something new or picking up the phone instead of sending a message. It might also mean being brave enough to say, “I’m feeling really alone right now”.

Summer is a great time to become more connected. People are emerging from hibernation and longer days make socialising seem more achievable. It doesn’t come easily to everyone, but sometimes a conversation, an invitation or a step outside our comfort zone can make all the difference.