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Most people don’t want to talk about death. However, at one time, death was a normal part of our lives. People were cared for and died at home, and the community grieved, celebrated and prepared for the burial together. Many cultures, Māori and Irish included, were similar in that regard. This reticence to talk about death and dying was why we started the local death café – to create a space where it’s OK.
One of the over-arching themes from our recent Dying Matters Week panels at the library (we had representatives from legal, hospice, local cemetery, an end-of-life doula, funeral director and celebrant) were the issues that arise when we don’t plan ahead.
Approximately 80 per cent of us will have advanced warning that our end of life is in view. At that point, only 50 per cent of us will have the capacity to make all the decisions required to put our affairs in order. When we start planning while we are healthy:
• We make better decisions
• We can discuss our wishes with loved ones
• It saves money
• It gives us peace of mind
Death is part of the cycle of life, so there’s no reason to wait until it’s approaching before we plan for it. And 20 per cent of us will have no warning. Start early, so when the time comes, your whanau can focus on what is really important – spending time with those you love and honouring their wishes when they are gone. In the meantime, you can get on with living!
Kelly Townsend is a funeral celebrant, Death Café host and is passionate about living and dying consciously.
