Sign In / Register
Weddings are special days that can be memorable for all the right reasons and, sometimes, for all the wrong reasons. Those conducting weddings must strive to accommodate the happy couple’s wishes and at same time avoid any mishaps. Mahurangi Matters asked the Vicar of Warkworth and local celebrants about their personal approach, and the romantic and not-so-romantic moments on the big day.
Is there a wedding that was especially memorable for you?
Anne Holman, celebrant:
I conducted a wedding for two ladies from Australia a few years ago who came to New Zealand to get married on the very day the Same Sex Marriage Act came into effect. It was big news in Australia, as same sex marriage still wasn’t legal there, and a film crew from Australia’s Channel 10 documented the whole thing. The couple was late arriving and the TV producer informed me that we had precisely seven minutes to do the ceremony, before the film had to be urgently sent to the Sydney studio for the news that night. After a moment of panic, I decided that we should carry out the important legal bit – the asking, the vows and the pronouncement for the cameras, send the crew on their way, and then do the whole ceremony again from the beginning. It all worked out well and the couple was thrilled with the TV coverage, and I was privileged to be involved in a special moment in history.
Rev Ellen Bernstein, Vicar of Warkworth:
A wedding I took last August was one-of-a-kind because it was a surprise wedding. It happened at St Stephen’s, Tamahere, before I came to Warkworth, and only about three other people were in on the secret. The church was packed for my farewell, and we had a fancy morning tea all planned, and extra decorations up. It looked as though the effort had all been made for me. I even explained to the congregation that the photographer was there because she was my friend and was capturing memories of my last day. When it came time to do my sermon, I said I needed help from a few people. I called up the groom, who came up with his dog, Rambo, as his best mate. Then, exactly on cue, the bride came through the door dressed in a stunning gown. She’d slipped out during the last song and done a quick change in my study. The organist struck up the traditional wedding march, and then everyone realised this was for real. It was the most romantic ceremony you could imagine.
Rebekah Sulman, celebrant:
I was particularly moved at a recent ceremony where we wove in traditions from the bride’s homeland of Finland. Most of her family were unable to be with her in person for the day, but we were linked via video so they could join in and be part of the very special occasion. I learnt a few phrases in Finnish, and was expertly coached by the bride to be able to say these confidently on the day. Her very thoughtful Kiwi groom had written his vows in Finnish, and also had to be coached by his lovely bride through these – mid-ceremony! It was such a lovely moment, and reflected their commitment and support for one another.
Wilhelmina Callaghan, celebrant:
The first wedding I carried out will always be special. The groom wanted to wear his welding outfit and helmet. He didn’t, of course, and he looked amazing, as did the bride. Nevertheless, I took along a welding helmet and produced it during the ceremony just in case he was getting withdrawals, so added a bit of humour there.
Dave Parker, celebrant:
All my weddings have been special and memorable in their own way, whether local or international. Over the past 35 years there have been many moving and humorous moments. I do especially remember close family and friends.
Any disasters?
Rev Ellen:
Last April, I married my beautiful niece, Christie, to Simon, a paramedic. On the day before their wedding, I was thrown from a Clydesdale. As well as being dragged down the road, the horse also came down with her dinner-plate sized hoof on my right shin. The next day I couldn’t walk without crutches, and I was extremely sore. Because it was a family wedding, I couldn’t ask one of my colleagues to take over, but in the photos, you can tell the groom is basically holding me up.
How would you describe your own approach to taking weddings?
Wilhelmina:
I like to make sure I am available all the way through the process. I like to use my own material and do poems to suit the occasion when required.
Dave:
It can be a stressful and emotional time for those involved. My role is to smooth any challenges that may occur and make the day special.
Anne:
It’s very important to be able to make the couple getting married, feel as relaxed as possible and enjoy the moment, because it goes in a flash. Although it’s a very meaningful ceremony, a light-hearted story about the couple works well at the beginning to set the tone. A sense of humour goes a long way as some funny things happen sometimes.
Rebekah:
A celebrant definitely needs to be a people person. Equally important is being able to speak and present well – in front of a range of audiences. Also listening and conversation skills and working with clients to ensure we’ve reflected what they’re looking for in their wedding ceremony. It’s usually the things that pop up when we meet in person that provide the “spark” or inspiration for their special day.
Rev Ellen:
My personal approach to weddings is very open-minded, but it is limited by the fact that I am an Anglican minister, rather than a celebrant. This means I only take the marriage services of couples who want to acknowledge their faith in some way. There will be a Bible reading, everyone will be invited to join in saying the Lord’s Prayer, and I’ll offer them a blessing. Having said that I am very friendly, and I don’t interrogate people about their exact beliefs or church attendance record.
