Love is just an app away

The rise of smartphones is creating more options for online dating.

There’s not much you can’t get hold of via your smartphone or computer these days, and that increasingly includes finding a significant other to love (or lust) after.The rise in the number of online dating sites might have been rapid in recent years, but it pales into insignificance compared with the stratospheric growth in popularity of hook-up phone apps such as Tinder.

These easy to use systems, where you simply scroll through countless photos of people and swipe right on your screen if you like the look of someone, are changing the way people meet and interact with each other, and apparently reducing detailed personal information to a list of basic must-haves and wants.

The trend tends to be polarising – to some, it’s just a more efficient way of meeting a potential partner and looking for a long-term relationship, to others it’s little more than a minefield of chancers with their mind on a relationship more short-term.

Sheldon Nesdale is the founder of NZ Dating Websites, an online guide that attempts to list and review all the dating sites and apps in New Zealand on one website.

He says Tinder and its ilk definitely have both good and bad elements, but it won’t spell the end of online dating or more traditional ways of meeting.

“There is so much innovation now, we haven’t seen the end of it,” he says. “Again and again, people assume new technology means the end of old methods, but it actually just gives them more options.

“That’s why I started the website. People don’t know where to turn. I thought it might be useful to help people avoid waste-of-time sites.”

One local woman, who asked not to be named, has dated online periodically and says the new apps might be more efficient in filtering potential suitors, but they can carry risks, too.

“Up here, where there are less anonymous opportunities to meet new people, it can be great,” she says. “But it’s all about how you manage it, and being aware of the pitfalls. It’s a safe environment if everyone plays by the rules.”

However you find a potential partner online, it’s important to meet them quickly, to ensure any connection is based in reality, she says.

“It’s interesting and fun for a while, in fact, it becomes really addictive,” she says. “You have these conversations running over several days, but it’s all very superficial; there’s only so much you can convey in a little blue-framed box. It’s entertainment, like discovering a new TV series … In the end, you just have to nip it in the bud and meet them as soon as possible to see if you click.

“Having said that, everyone I know who has been determined to get a relationship has been successful. There are plenty of lovely people out there, but you have to really want that.”