Health – Take charge of your plate

It’s November and the calendar starts filling up fast: end-of-year functions, club break-ups, catch-ups with friends and family get-togethers – and nearly every one of them involves food.

Picture this: you’re at a friend’s afternoon tea, comfortably satisfied, when the host appears with a generous slice of her famous ginger loaf. “Just a small piece,” she insists. “I made it especially.” You aren’t hungry, but you don’t want to hurt her feelings, so you take the plate.

Sound familiar? At this time of year, managing other people’s expectations can be far harder than managing our own eating.

It helps to understand why this happens. Food is one of the main ways we show love and hospitality, and hosts feel appreciated when their cooking is enjoyed. Nine times out of 10, the person offering seconds simply wants you to have a good time.

Over many years of maintaining my own weight loss, I’ve learned that what matters most isn’t whether you eat the cake or pass on it. It’s that you make the decision yourself. Whether you enjoy a slice or say ‘no thanks’, making that choice consciously rather than eating something just to please someone else, keeps you in charge.

Having responses ready makes this much easier. A gracious ‘It looks delicious, but I’m actually quite full,” is hard to argue with. So is a simple “No, thank you” with a warm smile – you don’t owe anyone an explanation. A compliment can redirect the conversation nicely: “You’re such a talented cook – could I have the recipe instead?” And if someone is persistent, a little honesty works well: “Thank you, but I’m working on some health goals and that’s not part of my plan.”

What we say to ourselves matters just as much. When I’m tempted, I remind myself that I’ve eaten plenty of slices and sweet treats before, I know exactly how they taste, and I don’t need one today. Sometimes, reminding ourselves that we can enjoy a food another time makes it easier to decide whether we really want it now.

A little planning goes a long way. Have something to eat before you head out so you don’t arrive hungry. Let a trusted friend know what you’re aiming for, so you have someone in your corner. And if leaving a little early helps you stay on track, there’s no shame in an early night.

Finally, if you do end up eating more than you intended, be kind to yourself. Criticism never helps. Simply get back on track at your next meal – not next Monday, and not in the New Year. A walk and some fresh air can be a great reset.

Before your next function, think of one or two replies that feel natural to you. You’re in charge of your plate, and can enjoy every occasion in the lead-up to Christmas on your own terms.

Being polite doesn’t mean you have to eat something you don’t want.