Police – Navigating the virtual world

Phones are often a parent’s bugbear. I know it is easy for people of our generation to say, ‘don’t go online, don’t go into chat rooms’, but many kids today live their lives in a virtual world. They are natives of that virtual world where we are just visitors. They are more judged than we ever were, largely because people feel free to comment online. Youth today often feel pressure that we never felt – we only had to deal with an immediate peer group, not a whole world judging us. We used to leave school on a Friday for the holiday break and couldn’t wait to return to school and update friends with what we had done in the holidays. Now with regular posts, it’s instant updates. It’s all very well saying “well, don’t post anything”, but a lot can’t do that either.

We would love to be able to trust our kids to never get into trouble in the virtual world, but the simple fact is most children make mistakes, they will go places and do things that we didn’t anticipate. Our advice is to have an open and honest conversations with your child before they are exposed to this world or before they get a phone. Have a chat with your child, let them come up with some rules and boundaries to make them feel empowered that they are making the decisions (maybe with subtle guidance).

Discuss what they are looking at online and who they are looking at it with. Have a list of the family device rules on the fridge. Here are a few examples for further ideas:
• Open pass codes so you can go on their devices anytime to check in
• No devices in the bedroom
• Ask before downloading an app
• Only have online friends that you know and would stop and chat to on the street
• Try having a device-free day once a week
• Make family meal times device-free

For further advice and guidance on the online world and digital matters, Netsafe offer some comprehensive information for parents, as well as The Parenting Place. Taking an interest and having honest conversations with your children about their use of technology will help build trust and better understanding in your relationships, and can often be the key to them coming to you for advice when they are exposed to negative influences online.