Here are some suggestions to make your parenting more satisfying and soothing: • During times of upset, try to stay with your child. Connection is helpful.
• Understand that your child’s behaviours are their way of saying they need help (not because they are naughty or trying to do something to you). This knowledge helps you to get alongside your child rather than wanting to punish them.
• Know that it might be hard for you and that’s why you’ll have a desire to shut down their big feelings … take a deep breath and trust yourself.
• Reflect your child’s feelings back to them … “You’re feeling really cross, you can’t have a lolly”. Do this with a caring voice. This doesn’t mean you have to give in, it just means you care that it’s hard for your child not to get their own way.
• Pre-think of some activities you can do together that will help you relax if you’re starting to wind up. This could be going for a walk, taking a bath, sitting on the couch for a movie or going to the beach.
• Sometimes it’s better to walk away from jobs and have a ‘together break’ so your child can then manage to give you the space you need to do the job. Let go of ‘I have to do this now’; maybe you can attend to the job later.
• Find silly things that make you both laugh and break the vibe of the situation. This might be talking funny “Pot Pall Pe Poo Pow?” (What shall we do now?).