My Account
There is an old saying that it takes a village to raise a child. However, I believe we are suffering the effects in many ways of the ‘global village’ mentality and have lost the closeness of extended family and local community. Over recent years there has been a lot of attention placed on the challenges our young people face. Many studies and reports identify that the major issues our young people face today are drugs, alcohol and various forms of abuse and bullying. It is reported that New Zealand has the highest youth suicide rate in the OECD, the fifth-highest teen pregnancy rate, the second-highest road fatality rate for 15 to 17-year-olds and a child abuse rate four to six times higher than the other leading countries.
This list of statistics can seem overwhelming and the young people my staff and I meet with also identify some of these issues. However, when we discuss the problems they and their friends are personally facing, they talk more about family, relationships, belonging, confidence and the future.
A lot of these struggles are not new and the cause does not rest solely with our youth, yet it is our young people who carry the weight of them. As adults it is easy for us to add to the burden by constantly pointing out the negative behaviours of young people and the things that we perceive are wrong with them. Yet we seldom accept our responsibility in the perpetuation of these problems. How do our actions and speech influence our youth? How do we demonstrate responsible drinking, being good sportspeople and spectators? How do we model the appropriate way to speak to and treat people respectfully and show respect for property? Our young people can be very discerning and quickly identify hypocrisy. As the significant adults in their lives, we need to understand they learn more from observing what we do than they do from doing what we say.
A good example of the significant influence we adults have is highlighted by a warning issued by Russell Brooke, Principal of Long Bay College, in a school newsletter just before the school holidays: “Stop toking near our kids.” Mr Brooke was quoted by The Herald on Sunday as saying “times are changing, societal attitudes to dope are relaxing, with many adults smoking it freely in front of children.”
In the same way that some of our young people’s challenges are not new, approaches for their successful negotiation are not new, either. Research shows that the home environment that children and teenagers need in order to thrive, but are increasingly not receiving, has not changed. They need parents who will love and guide them, and close relationships with siblings, extended family, peers and their families, and other committed adults in their community. They need a family environment where there are clear and consistent boundaries and consequences upheld in a safe and supportive manner. One where rights and responsibilities are taught, trying is encouraged and failing is accepted so learning can be experienced. Out of these environments come young people who have a strong sense of identity, belonging and self-worth.
It seems it really does take a village to raise a child.
