There are some interesting theories about the psychology of ageing. One suggests that is it all about coping with contraction and loss. In other words, the world of the ageing person is bound to constrict and the challenge is to adjust to this process. However, many of my senior patients prove this is not necessarily the case, as they take on new interests, relationships and activities. Observing them has led me to the following conclusions:
• People who age well carry a positive attitude that was developed early in life. The sweet little old ladies were probably always nice but now they fulfill Victor Hugo’s observation that “When grace is joined with wrinkles, it is adorable”. But that grace has to be practiced for a long time before it saturates the later years. So I think I’ll start now.
• I can decide now not to be boring. There is a big world out there and keeping interested in it will hopefully prevent me from painting myself into the corner of my own idiosyncrasies. When I’m in a conversation and desperately trying to bring it round to my favourite topic, it’s probably time to learn something new.
• I want to stay connected to young people. It might seem like a cross-cultural experience but they are the future of our world. Hanging out with them refreshes idealism, challenges presumptions and keeps me marginally up to date with technology. Help out at school, mentor a young person, gate crash a youth group. Stick around for long enough and suddenly you find you are an accepted part of their lives.I understand that in due course my energy will decline and my mental powers fade. But it seems there are some things I can do to fulfill the Biblical aspiration: “Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day”.
I’ve got a bunch of patients who have learnt how to do this. When I grow up I want to be like them.
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