Homebuilders – Addiction and connection

Addiction can broadly be defined as any behaviour that gives you temporary relief, temporary pleasure but in the long-term causes harm, has some negative consequences and you can’t give it up despite these consequences. From this perspective, you can understand there are many addictions, some of these are consumerism, internet, substance, shopping, sex and food. Addiction, rather than being a disease or a human choice, is an attempt to escape suffering temporarily.

As seen through the compassionate lens of addiction specialist Dr Gabor Mate, “Addiction is not a choice anybody makes, it is not an ethical lapse. It is not a weakness of character, it is not a failure of will which is how our society depicts addiction. Nor is it an inherited brain disease, which is how the medical profession tends to see it … what it actually is, is a response to human suffering, which often stems from childhood trauma. The real question in addiction is not why the addiction, but why the pain?”

Many children experience abuse and neglect when growing up. These experiences can have a lasting impact on a person’s health and well-being. Therefore, it’s essential to consider how their upbringing can affect them throughout their lifespan. The kind of environment that a child has will actually shape the development of their brain.

Children can experience physical and emotional health issues from abuse or neglect. In addition, they can experience these same issues from growing up in a dysfunctional household. These are Adverse Childhood Experiences, or ACE’s.

ACEs are traumatic experiences that happen before the age of 18 but last through adulthood. They can cause lasting mental and physical issues. Research shows that these experiences can be predictive to outcomes throughout life. ACE’s can include physical, emotional and sexual abuse, neglect, caregiver mental distress, poverty, homelessness, incarcerated relative, substance abuse, witnessing violence against your primary caregiver and divorce. Adults who don’t properly cope with ACEs are at greater risk for chronic health problems like diabetes and heart disease. They are also at an increased risk for depression, anxiety and impaired memory.

Toxic stress can lead to difficulty regulating emotions, including experiencing joy. It also can leave a person unable to understand how to respond to situations and an increased likelihood that they will use substances including alcohol, drugs and nicotine. However, with therapeutic help, people can overcome these adversities and lead full, happy and healthy lives. The understanding is that addiction treated with connection, support and kindness can bring better outcomes than isolation and judgement.

Support locally can be found with organisations such as CADS, Community Drug and Health Services, and Te Ha Oranga in Wellsford offer mental health and addiction services from a Kaupapa Māori perspective. There are various websites that offer support such as The Salvation Army Oasis reducing gambling harm and Health Point, Living Sober for alcohol abuse and The Mental Health Foundation NZ’s five ways to Wellbeing Toolkit, AA and Al Anon, NA and Alcohol and drug Helplines.